Mood:  chillin'

As much as I strive to stand out ; I also crave acceptance as much or more than everyone else. 

I wnat to seen as a unique person. I do not like to blend in. I long for value. To feel valued by others and to truly show others their value no matter who they are, or how they feel. These desires are conflict.

Every time I fail I become more driven to do better, to achieve success no matter if the success is what I pictured or not. Sometimes I lose this determination and other times I keep it.  If I fail at something I really want to accomplish then I usaually end up feeling depressed. I have discovered that I want to help others learn that they are capable. They can do what they wish they could. 

I long to accomplish goals and meet standards. It does not matter if these goals or standards are mine or not. I desire to pass, not only pass, but excel with beautiful colors. I want to do well in life and in college.  I want to be the best I can be; the best person I am capable of.

I crave to be a better person. I strive for it even though it's a very tough. I do not want to be a stale, dull person that clings desperately to past beliefs or past habits. I have seen so many people just stay in their own pathetic habitual mistakes. At times they do not even realize what they are doing is a mistake or may be they just do not care. 

I want to challenge myself daily to  do better and to become a better person. I want to feel good and more importantly be good.  I want to help others. I feel at my best mostly when I am helping somone else. I used to help out at a Homeless shelter and then several years later I helped out at a food shelter (that was last year.)

I want to make a difference in others to know that there is a God and that he is a living God and not only that, but also that he is a loving God. Many people beieve in God or a "higher power."

The people who do not believe in God seem like they are bitter towards anyone who is and/ or this God they supposedly do not believe in. God does not make bad things happen to people. God allows it or the people themselves allow it. 

 (Written on May 9, 2010!)

:)