Mood:  a-ok

Pain. That word brings up so many memories. What comes to your mind? Mine goes to several different things. I usually think of my own pain or my family's.

I think about how must of my life I felt horrible. I wonder what caused me to be this way? What factors push someone to be depressed? How could I have been so consumed by all the negative aspects of life?

There is so much good in the world. Yes and there is also a lot of bad. But stating that fact is not going to change anything. Now, if I keep doing my best to be a good person and make a difference then maybe I can make a difference. I believe I can.

I want to be the refuge others seek for inspiration. There are so many things I want to do.  I sort of wish I could live a lot longer or have more lives than this one. I do not want to seek only self-satisfaction and self-gain. That would make my life pointless. 

 I want to be valued. I do want anymore rejection. I have not even had much rejection, but only a small taste. I know I hate it, I hate rejection.  Yes, I am sure I can learn from it and grow, but honestly does anybody want to go though it  just to learn? 

Rejection is a word that brings to my mind haunting feelings and memories. It is hard to take (rejection).  For me, I have not faced much rejection, so I am new to it in many ways. It is hard to deal with. I am swallowed up by the effect of it. I can change it, but right now I am trying docope withall of it.

To cry in front of people I do not know is something I do my best not to do. I will look up at the ceiling and do my best not to. I will force myself to hold it in. I am usually pretty good at clasping it and then hiding it. I am great at acting that I am okay when I am not. I am a very happy person, but thta does not mean I do not have my own sorrows.

 Tyler he is one of my good friends. He is so cool. Truly an original, individual. He may not seem like he is; nevertheless he is. If you got to know him I am sure you would agree. I admire him so much.  

My friend Tyler and many of my other friends have gone through some form of rejection. I hate seeing them in pain. I wish I had the power to stop it. Why do we all have to go through pain? One person has told me that he believes that without the pain we could not appreciate the good in life. 

 Aaron also said we are like statues, the pain makes scars and it can also heal, but we decide whether we allow the pain to make us compassionate or bitter. I agree. He has some awesome opinions on sitauations and things in life. He has a lot of wisdom and I do not even know him that well. I have only spoke to him for an hour and I found this out. I want to learn more from him.

I believe we are all evil by nature. We are all selfish. Some of us do our best to fight those two weaknesses. Others do not even realize that they are there or they just do not care. I fight it. I lose often, but I know I must not give up. 

 We all can make a difference. We all have talents amd strengths. Each one of us has gone through pain. Some of this pain has seemed  unbarable. Those struggles connect us to others who have gone through the same or who are going through the same experience.